My (F33) husband (37) and I struggle to get along. He thinks I am “the crazy one” but I think it’s him. Help

2022.01.20 02:41 V3ndetta15 My (F33) husband (37) and I struggle to get along. He thinks I am “the crazy one” but I think it’s him. Help

Very Long
TLDR: I struggle with mental health issues and have an extremely stressful life and career and it makes me a little crazy. Husband thinks he has no hand in our strained relationship and unintentionally gaslights me because he has his own trauma he needs to deal with and says a bunch of things that don’t make sense and he’s hypocritical. Any advice welcomed, we are in counseling already.
So some backstory, I was previously married to my high school sweetheart and we had a daughter together. That relationship wasn’t bad, we parented well together and we never fought. We were together almost 10 years. By the end though, we had grown apart and become different people and ultimately fell out of love. The split wasn’t amicable per se but it wasn’t messy and we focused on our daughter’s well being. We currently have a good relationship. After this I took some time to work myself out and after about a year I started dating a couple people. All of it was very “normal” and I never had any crazy relationships.
So fast forward to now, I met my current husband about 4 years ago. We hit it off as we had similar interests and we both really like to have fun. Additionally, he had a daughter in similar age to mine and we seemed to share fairly similar views on parenting. Early on it was great of course and we loved doing stuff together. However, I got a job as an assistant principal and I panicked a bit. I knew it would limit our fun and mean much longer days. We had also just gotten engaged (which I had a twinge of a bad feeling deep down but ignored it and moved forward with it) and knew we wanted to have one more child together. So I turned down the offer and decided to focus on getting a pregnancy and raising a baby out of the way before heading into a very busy career. My husband was completely on board with this and I got pregnant very quickly and with TWINS. Twin boys no less. And then I got a promotion at my current job to manage professional development for Humanities. Things went from great to tough in a matter of months. Carrying a twin pregnancy, nursing them for 14 months, dealing with postpartum depression all while working a demanding full time job during the pandemic has destroyed me to be honest. I struggled with depression and personality disorders here and there previously, took medicine did therapy, the whole nine yards. But it has really begun to rear its ugly head for the last 10 months or so. I am short tempered, I run around like a chicken with their head Cut off trying to keep the house put together and the laundry done and the kids cared for, I am distant from everyone and I work from home so I rarely get to get out of the house. All of this on top of the fact that I received another promotion to manage an entire department so my career has become even more stressful while trying to deal with all the stress at home. We try and do the fun things that we love to do together, but often it just ends up being more stressful because it throws off a routine or we’re required to pack or something like that. I am on antidepressants currently and everyday feels like a struggle but maybe this is just life with two 2-year-old boys and it will get better??? Thoughts?
When I try and talk to my husband about my struggles and frustrations he is very shitty and standoffish about it. He tells me I just need to slow down and worry about myself but then will get mad if there’s a dish in the sink when he wants to make dinner. Everything is very hypocritical; tells me I need to communicate but then snaps at me the minute I say anything. He tells me to ask for help but then gets mad at me when I do or it’s not the right time or why couldn’t I have asked sooner. He claims he works so much harder because he has to go to his job as a teacher and I get to work from home (even though that means I have 100% responsibility to get kids to daycare and pick them up when there’s issues and even though I make almost 25k more a year). He does his own laundry and I do everyone else’s he does about one sink of dishes a week and if I ask for any help around the house he acts like I just asked him to give me his left arm. He says he needs his relaxing time and he will do it when he wants to but I literally get up at 6 AM every single day and don’t stop till 9 o’clock at night. On top of all that shit, he constantly corrects me and bosses me around but then expects me to be independent and read his mind when he feels like it. Whenever I try and call him out on it he just gets mad and talks over me or leaves a conversation and we never actually get to talk about any problems it’s all just me “being crazy” because I am upset about constantly feeling like I am being treated like shit and he says that’s not true and I am just being overly sensitive and I need to learn how to take a joke. He will also make up false narratives and claim things like “I went behind his back” but have no evidence to support his claim. I’ve told him many times that the way he treats me is gaslighting. But then he gaslights me more by saying it’s all in my head. I have gotten to the point where I think that he has a warped perception of reality, and even though I may be overly sensitive at some points I don’t believe it’s all me. He has a ton of childhood And early adulthood trauma that he has not dealt with and frankly I think he projects a lot of things onto me that he feels. And I think this is probably The root cause.
All of this makes him sound bad I know and I know it’s only my perspective, but overall he is a good guy that is kind to others that is a great dad and that does work hard in some areas. I want our marriage to work (maybe out of love and pride) but I just don’t know how to get him to see his contribution. Or is it really just all in my head?
We are in counseling already but I just deeply wonder if this will work itself out overtime as stress diminishes or if this will just be something that never changes and I need to get out if no progress is made. Also wondering If this is common behavior for people with un-dealt with trauma. Looking for stories, advice, techniques to communicate etc. thank you all!
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2022.01.20 02:41 Fight100 ‼️Send this ya kin on Instagram and tag/shout-out one of your friends to post and tag it.THESE DRUGS ARE SUPER DANGEROUS AND ONE FORCED HOSPITALIZATION/CHECK IN YA FUCKED. Just look through r/antipsychiatry, don't want to take me seriously till it's one of your folks hit with haldol booty juice‼️‼️

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I'm an Indian attempting to gain admission to a master's (MS) programme in Canada (Data Science/Data Analytics or Computer Science). Here are my specifics:

  1. GRE: 324
  2. IELTS: 7.5 (7+ in every section)
  3. CGPA: 7.8/10
  4. 0yrs work experience.
  5. 0 papers published.
  6. 3 Projects from coursework and 2 projects based on ML and Data Analytics.
  7. 3 LoRs(1 from Head of the Department)
Note: Money is not a problem for me.
What universities can I apply to? And what are my chances of getting an admission?
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Is there a board similar to an RPI that can have multiple PCIe (or other expansion) slots for multiple NIC's?
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Target: Run VR games in 90-120fps with high graphics (not sure if feasible as I am bottlenecked to this GPU)
CPU: i5-12400, $215, other chips are more than double this price MOBO: GIGABYTE B660M DS3H DDR4 $130, also considering ASUS TUF GAMING B660-PLUS which is $180 GPU: Inno3D GeForce RTX 3070 LHR 8 GB iChill X4 SSD: Samsung 970 Evo Plus NVMe PCIe M.2 500GB, I also have a regular 1TB SSD Samsung 800 series for dedicated gaming drive RAM: Corsair Vengeance 2400mhz DDR4 8GB x 2
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Case: Antec NX200m

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Appreciate the feedback
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